Carson Can’t Keep Up with Rodney Dangerfield’s Non-Stop One-Liners (1974)

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  • Published on:  Monday, March 5, 2018
  • Rodney Dangerfield delivered so many jokes that night, Carson had to break for commercials. Originally aired September 2, 1974 on the Tonight Show.02:01 “When I was a kid, my old man didn't help me either. I asked my old man if I can go ice skating on the lake, he told me to wait 'till it gets warmer.”07:27 “My wife's a cold person. Her side of the waterbed is frozen.”09:07 “Doctors say when a man makes love to a woman, he burns up energy, he loses 150 calories. I made love to a girl once and lost even more. I lost 150 calories, my watch and my wallet.”Subscribe to channel:
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  • Tyrone Shoelaces

    Tyrone Shoelaces

     a years ago +2805

    The coke in '74 must have been FIRE.

  • S.C. Wood

    S.C. Wood

     4 months ago +1138

    Rumor has it he's still adjusting his tie in heaven.

  • Oprahs FatAss

    Oprahs FatAss

     2 days ago +8

    Johnny's jacket was so loud it could have been an amp for AC DC

  • Lil' Wayne's guitar teacher

    Lil' Wayne's guitar teacher

     1 months ago +186

    "What a son I've got. I told him about the birds and the bees and then he told me about the butcher and my wife." Rodney Dangerfield

  • TheRealBamboonga


     2 days ago +6

    Couldn't tell boys from girls back then, eh?
    Now, they can't tell either.

  • Robert New

    Robert New

     a years ago +2348

    Fav Rodney joke, "My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met each other."

  • Franz Kafka

    Franz Kafka

     2 months ago +555

    Jimmy Fallon oughta take notes on how to fake laugh with some conviction.

  • Direbear Coat

    Direbear Coat

     2 days ago +2

    "I mean, when you put down the stake, how do you forget the plate?" LOL

  • Curtis  Thomas

    Curtis Thomas

     yesterday +1

    Every time I see this headline, it bothers me because it's bs. Johnny Carson was playing front man for RD.

  • Gonzo Granny

    Gonzo Granny

     2 months ago +383

    Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door the other day. They slammed the door in my face.

  • Kevin Ramirez

    Kevin Ramirez

     1 months ago +263

    Carson: Let’s welcome Rodn-
    Rodney: I’ll take it from here, Johnny.

  • Otis Beck

    Otis Beck

     2 months ago +37

    I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
    -Rodney Dangerfield

  • MCT


     1 months ago +196

    Imagine Jimmy Fallon being the host here. He would ruin all of this.

  • bones22j


     1 months ago +72

    Why did he even sit down? The stand up routine never stopped lol.

  • Dr. Zoidberg

    Dr. Zoidberg

     a years ago +2608

    He never did loosen that tie.

  • James Miller

    James Miller

     1 months ago +90

    "I told my psychiatrist I had suicidal tendencies, he said from now on you have to pay in advance" Boom, pow, zing. Dangerfield lit it up.

  • Yates Webb

    Yates Webb

     2 months ago +208

    he's honestly a machine. it's amazing.

  • Kevin Morgan

    Kevin Morgan

     1 months ago +107

    My wife said "Let's do something kinky." So we got undressed and she tied me to the bed. Then she got dressed and went out!

  • mark mills

    mark mills

     2 days ago +2

    He is a trip. Very funny man. He can't stay still. Definitely wired on coke. Everything he says is funny. God bless his soul.

  • Aquarius


     4 months ago +1230

    He's the first insult comic that I've seen that just roasts himself all the time. 😂