Doctor Mike On Anxiety & Social Media | Conversation w/ Jonathan Haidt

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  • Published on:  Sunday, August 25, 2019
  • Chatting with Jonathan Haidt, the popular moral & social psychologist, about everything from social media to injustice to depression/anxiety. I have read a couple of his books and I have to say that Jonathon Haidt is one of the best out there in describing complex psychological situations in easy to understand terms. I truly recommend his books and website! Please let me know if you enjoy these long-form conversations as I'd love to chat with more great thinkers moving forward.

    Book and Further Research: https://www.thecoddling.com

    If you have an idea of something you want me to cover in-depth, please let me know because I take your requests seriously. We will be back with more Doctor Reacts Series, Memes, & Responding to Comments so please submit more names of shows/episodes & questions you'd like for me to watch. Love you all!

    - Doctor Mike Varshavski

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    ** The information in this video is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information, contained in this video is for general information purposes only and does not replace a consultation with your own doctor/health professional professional **
  • Source: https://youtu.be/qUSMbMzm1Ko
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Comment

  • Shanna Robertson

    Shanna Robertson

     4 hours ago

    “Working class kids or poor kids” my family is in the working class, but we’re not fucking poor.

  • Ash .B

    Ash .B

     5 hours ago

    Thanks for the long content, I needed this, been having anxiety issues for a long time, this helped me a bit :)

  • Nunnie Stadler

    Nunnie Stadler

     yesterday

    Hi Doctor Mike! I love your videos. I have a question based on trauma and how you would classify this specific scenario. If you witnessed the person you loved most in this world die in a car accident (by being on the scene), would you classify this as trauma? If not, what term would you use?
    PS, love what you do on this channel!

  • Minerva Lafontaine Cortes

    Minerva Lafontaine Cortes

     3 days ago

    I NEED TO BUY THIS BOOK

  • Heaven Hicks

    Heaven Hicks

     3 days ago

    ahhh i had exams this week yo thats funny

  • paula aguilera

    paula aguilera

     4 days ago

    Just wanna add that when it comes to bullying you should change schools. Cause bothering someone is not the same as bullying someone, it come to a momento where bullying is so big that the only solutions is to change schools.

  • Quenie Fornoles

    Quenie Fornoles

     4 days ago

    this what smart people talk sounds like

  • Andrew Cox

    Andrew Cox

     4 days ago

    Bro if you podcast I’m in there

  • Spine Grinder

    Spine Grinder

     5 days ago

    pls thank your parents for your face for me. they did an amazing job x

  • elus 11

    elus 11

     6 days ago

    I agree with the “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” mindset, but the thing is every individual is different. Some people are sensitive...

  • The RPG Guy

    The RPG Guy

     7 days ago

    From what I have read and seen (such as my parents report cards form the 40s and 50s where they lived in Oregon and Maryland respectively) I found that they used to teach basic psychology and critical thinking in high school. It seems, from a bit more reading into old news articles from the late 90s and early 2000s that helicopter parents and others convinced state education systems that taking critical thinking courses and intro psychology courses were upsetting their kids and hurting their feelings, hence why they were probably taken away. School districts, especially on the coasts, are more focused on "kindness and feelings" over direct and effective learning. Since my mother is a grade school teaching being told by her state district coordinator (I don't remember the actual title, but someone sent from the state to teach courses to district administrators and teachers) to give kids Cs instead of Ds to make them "feel" better, this is an active issue still going on today. Luckily my mother has tenure and doesn't do what was "suggested" to her because it is morally and ethically wrong and they showed no evidence in the in-service that it would help. You get what you earn and need to be accountable and LEARN from your failures. b^^

  • Danielle Hyde

    Danielle Hyde

     7 days ago

    People being right or wrong (in disagreement) is one thing. People doing wrong to another is violence. Bullying is nonessential to building resilience. Conflict is inevitable, can arise out of the simplest conflict in needs. However, all conflict is not bullying; bullying is one way a conflict is acted on. There are lots of ways to foster resiliency and confidence without bullying. Comes down to this for me, if there are better alternatives then you have a choice. As bullying is not the only way to cause stress responses, permitting it is a choice and one that's more telling about the parent's history than it is about the best interest of the child's needs.

  • T Thomas

    T Thomas

     7 days ago

    4:39 100%. I was born in 73 and, man, I played jungle gym in my moms Riviera. My two kids are told 'keep a bubble in your mouth' at school...What?! It's crazy! Challenges are beneficial.

    I want my kids to watch this. This video is very intelligent and provides clarity to many of children's confusions.
    13:36 people get conditioned to sympathetic responses. This is exactly what has been bothering me in this...sequel generation that has no idea what the original is...generation. I need better terminology (without it sounding like semantics) to describe it, but its rampant.
    26:25 to examine the flip side, what has, statistically dropped? If (perceived) depression has increased, what has equally (or greater) dropped?
    29:18 ...simple accountability
    I live, literally, 15 miles from BM and for us people that live here locally - it's not a wonderful, free expression experience. It's the Seattle crowd encroaching on our home town. Its invasive and upsetting. No one wants graffiti on their grocery store. Its perspective.
    35:53 not everyone has (or wants) a Brand. But how are the children of Every Person with a Brand...absorbing this concept? Who will these children be that have been raised with this being the social norm? ...depressed when they dont measure up.
    36:44 exactly! My 10 year old wants (as a career!!!) to be a youtuber!!! He wants a 'golden button' as his childhood career goal. I won't let my children make accounts, primarily because of this.
    40:55 I, respectfully, disagree. It's going to get worse. Kids (seen as a mother of a 13 and 10 year old) accept this as norm. Have both had flippant accusations of neurosis, depression and anxiety, despite my opposition to these overused phrases, they believe what society says more than...just mom.
    Look at Japanese, social media culture...even with Very strong political, religious, traditional conditions...it turned to anime/caricature exaggerations

  • Todd Thiessen

    Todd Thiessen

     7 days ago

    Hey Mike. Great interview. I have been following Johnathan for quite some time and recently stumbled onto your channel. There is some high quality ideas being shared here that I think we could all benefit from. Thumbs up.


    I think I will have to get that book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". There is a problem/question with human interactions that I find virtually impossible to overcome. Johnathan suggests that if you give an inch in a conversation, the person you just gave an inch to, will be encouraged to reciprocate. In my experience, I find that if you give an inch, they take an inch and hold onto it as tightly as possible (particularly with how polarized the world is today. 5-10 years ago, I don't think this would have been as much of a problem). And if they do give something back, its only superficial; its only under a guise of "being nice" or "politically correct" or to give the appearance of being a nice caring person. The reality is that under the covers, their true feelings and intentions are more along the lines of "I am not giving you anything... not in the slightest".


    Now I also understand and practice CBT (thanks to your work Johnathan). As an engineer, I have always felt that analyzing a problem thoroughly before taking action is very important. As such, adopting CBT to better myself psychologically was a very natural thing. So I try my utmost to not make any assumptions about intent. But after trying and failing with these conversations for so long, the logical side of me, the rider, is thinking that there it may be time to let the elephant run loose a little bit ;-). If riders can't agree, then perhaps the elephants need to collide and change directions as a result. Those of you that have read Johnathan's book "The Righteous Mind" will understand the rider/elephant reference.


    I find it totally frustrating, but is something I am learning how to live with. Its a fine line between taking responsibility for my own approach to conversations, and not blaming myself for every failed conversation that degenerates into pointless bickering with both parties talking past each other ;-).

  • Casey Garcia

    Casey Garcia

     14 days ago

    Speaking of social media (typically FB), people act like I have some sort of communicable disease when I say I deactivated my Facebook account over a year and a half ago. It's as if they feel I have gone against the norms of society; possibly even lost my mind. It didn't feel good to sit and look at all the negativity I would see. I am told, "Just block those people.". If I had done that, there wouldn't be anyone left other than those I actually talk to in person or by text. So, I don't use it. I HAVE a Twitter, but have no idea how to even log in anymore. I have never had an Instagram account and half of what people say about social media sites is basically foreign to me. But somehow I don't lack social interaction. I am very much a "people person". I love people. I love talking to people. And I do. I work for a retail/health care based company and deal with people all the time. I serve in a ministry that helps teach people how to move forward into a life where they can be the best them they can be (if that makes sense). Social media can and does serve a purpose. It can be a good thing when used appropriately. But when it is used for nothing more than teens posting inappropriate photos of themselves, girls/women bashing their "baby daddy" and not simply voicing politcal views and opinions but directing politcal/partisan hatred at someone you call your "friend".....well, that's when I choose me over it (social media). If it makes you feel bad, gross or sad just to log in, it isn't something you should be doing (IMO). At least for me. I grew up in the 80s when you called and talked to a friend until your parents made you get off the phone or someone on the party line needed it. I like having been able to reconnect with people I had lost touch with over the last 30 years, but now I use other means to talk to them. I also miss the support group I belonged to on FB (for a specific medical issue...I found them after I had surgery three years ago). It was educational and emotionally helpful. But weighing the pros and cons of staying on FB, for me, getting off of it made more sense. I don't think it is a totally terrible source of entertainment and connections, I just feel that, like anything else we do, we have to decide what is right for "me". And not being on FB doesn't make me less of a human. It simply allows me more time to interact face to face with other humans 😊

  • Rose Balavitch

    Rose Balavitch

     14 days ago

    I loved your conversation. I agree social media has changed us as society. I notice a difference even in my behavior. Because i am 45 years old i remember when i didn't have social media. When it became a popular i wasn't able to even be on it because we didn't have internet access on the farm. Living on my 440 ace farm there was no access. To be honest we didn't get internet access around mid 90s i had job my parents told if wanted i had to buy it. So i did we had to have satellite access there was no cable on farm. That's when all started. Course now i am on all social media outlets. It has definitely changed my ability to socialize in life. When i noticed the changed i had to make the choice to limit myself which helps me alot. I believe we all need to have a limit to social media it will help our minds and also physical health aswell. Because i think we are less active now that we have social media. Atleast i realize i am less active and really need to make a change. I do walk a mile or two before going to work but i could do more.

  • Samia Saini

    Samia Saini

     14 days ago +1

    As a health professional I 100% agree!!!!

  • Jack Quinlivan

    Jack Quinlivan

     14 days ago

    I can say from my experience with social media, which went from Facebook to Instagram, that it does cause stress and anxiety. I got roped into Instagram, and got addicted I was on it from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. I felt so pressured to be on it and keep up with everyone to the point where if I didn't, I didn't feel normal. I quit and didn't go back until last summer when I came back I was on for an average of an hour a day then when school started back up I quit again, and I've yet to be on, and I don't miss it. I enjoy life using my phone without social media. To all kids and teenagers out there who feel like they have to keep up with everyone and be on every platform YOU DON'T!! It's affecting your mental and physical health!

  • sslilac

    sslilac

     14 days ago

    That neck&hair chest sigh🥺😫💔😫😫

  • Ohanna Tomazini

    Ohanna Tomazini

     14 days ago

    One of the best videos I've ever watched on your channel. Congratulations on the subtlety, empathy and intelligence you can talk about such controversial and sensitive issues. Brought in the right guest, asked the right questions and comparisons, defended your own point of view without disparaging or attacking anyone. You are the best! I'm literally in love!

    All best from Brazil! xoxo